What do I think

It's not about suiting me only. It's not me that is the only one demanding so much. Look at the society now, look at the competition. Look at those fierce fights. It's not just about the piece of paper that says a U-grad. It's the type of skills and technique you've got.

It's the everyday life where you have the most time and most chance to improve oneself. We all mesmerise the superb skills of Dwayne Wade, LeBron James, Kobe Bryant. We all amazed by those ultimate footwork of Jay Jay Okocha, Ronaldinho, Ricardo Quaresma.

But is that all we can do? If we work hard and push ourselves beyond out limited standard every single time and put in those little more effort to make ourselves grow, can't we work closer to those stunning skills which make everyone of us unique and stand out so as to get ourselves a better advantage to excel in our future? Every little details are there not because they are to be left out. It's not there to be neglected. It's there for people to see you, for people to spot you, for people to recognise you, for people to acknowledge you. Grab the chance, it's one and only.

What's more important is all about the word in us named 'attitude'. That's why interviews come along. Everyone has to go through interviews before they get into the company and have a job. Without the right attitude, a person won't learn, a person will not have the right values of life, a person will ruin the company. Those high positioned people won't never like to have such people.

What else to do then? Change the attitude. Attitude is a habit and likewise, habit as an attitude. Start young. Start fast. Start right. Don't waste anymore time. Do it now. And the superly Nike's slogan is an absolute stunner. JUST DO IT. It's just a 3 words sentence. But it's extremely difficult to achieve. As what said, easier said than done.

Of course! It's MUCH MUCH MUCH more easier. I can't say whatever I like. But can I do it? Think about it. Give yourself sometime and think about it. Think of what you want. Think of what you need. Think of what you want to do. Think of what you need to do. THINK!

I see the change. That's what I want. That's all I want. Yes, I do see the change. There's a lot of change. This gave me a boost in confidence on what I've been doing is correct. It signalled to me that I'm one step closer. Step by step. I want to push things to the better side of life. I do not want to just stop at this stage. I want all of us to be a better person. I want all of us to have a better life. I want all of us to enjoy. But I do not want everything to be just out of fun and leisure. Every thing is a learing process. Put in your heart and soul, put in the effort. It'll be much more fun. There is too much to learn. So we have to put in an effort for the attempt to learn as much as we can.

Just think. No rush. Spare some time. Sit under the tree. Close your eyes. Calm down. Although I said that the society right now is a fury battle. But at times, it's really useful to keep yourself away, give some space.

This is what I left out terribly. And this is what you guys need. And for this, I really need to apologise deeply. I stress on you people too much and yet I've not been stressing it on myself. I am to take the blame. It's me that got you people into such state. I have to do it myself before anybody else would be persuaded to do so. And why, WHY AM I NOT DOING IT! WHY!!! Right now I'm so furious of myself. I should be the one improving. And prove to everyone, it's feasible. And I am blaming myself for not thinking of it.

I am tired, tired and yet it is not because I'm stressing out, BUT YET I AM TIRED BECAUSE I WASTE TOO MUCH TIME STRESSING ON OTHERS. Why am I so foolish? I'm tired of the wrong cause. I am so so so foolish!

For being the most damn horrible boss. I'm sorry. For not being the kind of caring friend. I'm sorry. For pushing to hard. I'm sorry. For not concerning on you guys. I'm sorry. For not consoling you. I'm sorry. For being too fierce and scary. I'm sorry. For getting myself out of those jobs and chores. I'm sorry. For demanding too much. I'm sorry. For stressing too much. I'm sorry. For doing any wrong deeds. I'm sorry. For coming out of many stupid and terrbly wrong plans. I'm sorry. For any wrong steps. I'm sorry. For not knowing you inside out. I'm sorry. For having the wrong attitude. I'm sorry. For being too withdrawing. I'm sorry. For missing any appointments. I'm sorry. If I've every scold you. I'm sorry. For not punishing myself. I'm sorry. For not saying sorry whenever I have to. I'm sorry. For being too long-winded. I'm sorry. For not sharing. I'm sorry. For not getting the right instructions clearly. I'm sorry. For not expecting what you expected me to. I'm sorry. For being such a terrible person. I'm sorry. For not appreciating. I'm sorry. For crititsing. I'm sorry. For always thinking the word "I". I'm sorry. For being selfish. I'm sorry. For not suffering as much as you do. I'm sorry. For making you suffer. I'm sorry. For not being trustworthy. I'm sorry. For not being suitable. I'm sorry.

Over here, I apologise. I'm sorry. I just found out I'm actually dropping tears throughout the whole text. I'm so disappointed in myself.

原来我一直以来，都是个坏人。